Let's Make a Deal!

     I went on a mini shopping spree yesterday, and again today. I treated myself to four new notebooks, a new address book, yet another journal, and, the biggie: a new magnifying glass!  How pathetic is that?  Oh, but it’s going to get worse, still.  I have a real dilemma besides my diminishing eyesight.  Some of my classes are three hours long.  The problem is this: my bony, half century old derriere causes me great pain when I sit in those wooden chairs for any length of time.  Last Thursday, I spent about half the class squirming in my chair like a small child who’s about to wet his pants. On a positive note, the classroom was dark because we were watching a movie. So, I wasn’t embarrassed, just suffering and unable to concentrate properly. I feel I should invest in one of those chair pads that I could bring along to class. However, it’s bad enough that:     1.) I’m old enough to be the mother of 96% of the students;  2.) I’m old enough to be the grandmother of probably 3% of the students; 3.) I bring my sweater to class when it’s 95 degrees out.  Now I am supposed to compound that embarrassment by bringing a chair pad to sit on!  And I thought a new magnifying glass was pathetic!  I can at least hide it in my purse.  However... ponder this. Oftentimes, I am walking the halls and I have the privilege of seeing nearly translucent, paper thin boxer shorts barely covering the derrieres of some of the students because of the ridiculous style of having the waist of their pants at mid-thigh level.  I’ll make a deal with them: I won’t laugh at them if they don’t laugh at me!