"Determination"

     I have been in a writing frenzy this weekend.  Recently, I had gone from writing for hours on end each day, to not writing at all.  There were days last summer when I would sit contentedly at my computer for eight hours at a time, happily writing away.  Then, much to my surprise, when I was out of work, I was too depressed to write very much.  Oftentimes when I'm depressed, I am able to work it out in verse or prose.  Not in that instance, however. 

     When I went back to work, I found myself too exhausted at the end of the day to expend another ounce of energy.  I would think about writing, briefly, then subsequently remain idly on the couch, an unproductive lump of human flesh, recovering from a demanding day (believe me when I tell you, part of that exhaustion is attributed to being just plain old). 

     The other day, however, I was inspired by a line in a movie.  I was watching Capote, and in one scene, Capote's partner, an author, indicated that he was heading to Spain, "to write".  Now, I have no intentions of going to Spain, but that singular line reminded me just how much I love, and have missed, writing.  I promptly wrote three pages in my journal, composed a poem, and am now on my third blog post. 

     Writing had become an integral part of my life, especially during the course of the last five years, when my life changed so abruptly and so radically.  I have written some of my most beautiful poems (in my estimation) as a means of expressing my emotions, my tears sometimes spilling onto the pages.  Be it pain, joy, love, or even some current events, my writing is my outlet.  It is a healthy means of expelling emotions which could prove damaging if kept locked up inside.  Additionally, I have found humor in my back to school escapades, in my dealings with young professors and even younger classmates.

     So, here's hoping that I've reached a turning point, and that my journal and my blog will once again be overflowing with the fruits of my writer's imagination and dogged determination, preferably without the tears...