"By Rote"

       More often than not, I do things by rote, and that sometimes includes purchasing, and using, my "Miss Clairol" products.  During a recent hair coloring event, once applied, I quickly realized that the color on my head looked very abnormal. (Now if that isn't cause for alarm, I don't know what is!) It was, in fact, black, with a burgundy tint. My alarm turned to panic while I was rinsing it out, and the water and shower, grout and all, turned the most vivid color of Christmas cranberry!  I imagined that I might very well emerge a carrot top, while simultaneously pondering how I was going to clean the shower.  Once out, shower forgotten, I grabbed my spectacles and scanned the box to see what color I'd actually purchased.  The box indicated #20 (medium brown), my color of choice, followed by a barely discernible "R".  Ugh!  Why do they do that?  Don't they realize the people buying this stuff probably have failing eyesight?  (Not to mention, short attention spans.)  I already carry a magnifying glass with me (a fiftieth birthday present from my BFF).  Apparently the $700.00 bifocals I'm wearing aren't cutting it.  Maybe I should attach the magnifying glass to a lanyard, and wear it around my neck so it's handy while I'm shopping!  When the magnifying glass no longer works, I could use the lanyard to hang myself....

     In reality, the color of my hair actually turned out pretty nice. It was a soft brown-not too dark for my aging complexion.  The roots, however, oh the roots!  What had been grey was now a strikingly bright....orange!  What is it with the roots, that they never get dark, no matter how long the dye is on them, while the remainder of your hair is dark, regardless of how briefly it is exposed to the coloring?  What the Fudge!  

     So, to make a long story short, I spent the next three weeks with a tiger stripe all along my hairline.  (I'm not only stubborn, I'm cheap!)  Thank goodness for bangs and long hair.  They can camouflage any number of hair coloring blunders...