"I.D. and Me"

     I am immersing myself into the world of Internet Dating the way a child inches her way into chilly ocean waters: very slowly. My initial visit to a dating site was like dipping my toes, by looking at about 8 photos of local eligibles.  I quickly exited the site, as the reality of my age slapped me in the face like a rogue wave.  The second time, I went the equivalent of about shin deep, and signed up. I didn’t divulge much about myself, and I did not download my picture.  On my third visit to the site, I made it to, comparatively speaking, about knee deep, perusing approximately forty pictures, and that was just the tip of the iceberg! There must be at least two hundred.  I updated very little information about myself, and find that I am filled with trepidation about the whole thing. Perhaps I simply don’t want to date.  I am beginning to think that I have been on my own for too long now. Between the ages of 15 and 53, I was never without a “man” in my life.  Since my divorce a number of years ago, I have become acquainted with (to name a few) solitude, independence, choice, serenity, and control of my own destiny.  I also have come to the realization that I do not possess the level of stamina that I had in my youth. I don’t know if I would have any energy left for a relationship given my level of immersion in my class work and writing.  Does it seem as if I’m attempting to talk myself out of this venture?  I don’t. What I would need to do is talk myself into it.  I guess I’m just not ready after all.