I' m Back!

    More often than not, I am a woman of few words. Except when I write, although lately even when I write, or try to.  Major life changes have become a way of life for me over the last four years.  I would have thought I’d be used to it by now, but the latest change kind of threw me for a loop.   My writing is the one thing that generally helps me work through the trying times, but even that has eluded me.  However, I think its back, and hopefully you will be hearing from me more often.

     One of my professors is allergic to chalk dust. In my 50-something years, I have never heard of such an absurdity, and now this is the second instance in a matter of weeks.  I find it quite comical,  kind of like a dentist being allergic to fluoride.

     I feel compelled to provide an update on the internet dating thing.  It is going from bad to worse…to worst.  This really good looking guy contacted me. He was the right age, we had some interests in common, and he lives in…Guam!  I was going to Email him that this seems rather pointless, except that when I logged back in, the he was allegedly a she, with a female silhouette in place of the photo, and claiming to be 7’ tall, and 99 years old.  That particular someone needs to get a life. Needless to say I blocked he/she/it. Okay, then this decent looking guy Emails me, and proceeds to tell me what a strong drive he has, and no, I don’t mean golf.  He also indicated how he wants to indulge this particular drive all night long and in a variety of locations.  It goes without saying that I blocked this clown also. (Clown is probably not the most accurate term to describe this one. Don’t you agree?)  I was tempted to ask him if maybe he wasn’t a little old for such nonsense.  It’s certainly no surprise to me that some of these guys are on their own.  I plan to put a disclaimer on my profile that only gentlemen need apply.  I imagine that will greatly reduce the number of Emails I receive.  By the way, I haven’t had any actual dates yet…which is probably a blessing…

"That's Entertainment"

     Attending class is always an adventure.  Whenever I think I’ve seen or heard it all, the youngsters take me by surprise.  Today I saw a young man with a pierced ear, but instead of an earring, he…had…a…2 inch nail dangling from his earlobe!!!!!! 

     After class, the youngsters were discussing various clubs they were joining. That really hurt…I think that was the oldest I’ve felt since I returned to school one year ago.  Can you imagine me joining any of these clubs? I would be like the den mother for the boy and girl scouts. 

     One of my classmates was trying to recruit members for the film club, and he asked that people remain after class. The fellow who sits behind me indicated that he couldn’t, because...he really had to pee…Then he repeated himself. I thanked him for sharing, and indicated that he provided more information than I needed to know…These kids are nothing if not entertaining.

"Internet Dating 101"

     I may seem biased when I express my views, but sometimes when I read the nonsense that some of the men on these dating sites message or hint at, I think to myself that it is no surprise that they are on their own. Some of the stuff is so repulsive that it would seem more appropriate if this particular site catered to 20 year olds. It doesn’t. It’s for ages 50 and up. You’d also think they’d have learned a little something about women by this late stage. Apparently not.  Therefore, my girlfriends and I have come up with some tips for weeding out the undesirables. If the guys are guilty of any of the following, delete instantly:

1. No picture on his profile.

2. Legally separated and living in NJ?  There is no such thing. He’s hitched.

3. If he makes any reference to body dimensions other than height and weight.

4. If he references numbers that would spoon nicely together when turned upside down.

5. If the first thing he mentions in his initial Email is the “S” word.

6. If he lives beyond a reasonable radius.

     First impressions are lasting. One fellow sent me a message, and in the background of his photo was a wall of liquor bottles.  Anyone who knows me well is aware that I deleted his message in record speed. (He really did me a favor with that telling photo.)  Now that I reflect on all of this, the guys are really doing us a favor by showing their true colors up front.  Perhaps Internet Dating isn’t such a bad idea after all.

"Everything I Learned..."

    Everything I learned, I learned in college. Too bad I waited until I was 50-something to attend…Okay, that isn’t exactly true. If there is one thing I have had in my life, it is an education. It just didn’t take place in a classroom.  I have had an education in “lifespan”, encompassing elements of psychology (child and abnormal), home and finance management, nursing, and communications.  I excelled at some of these “studies”, but failed miserably at others.  Luckily for me, life offers us second chances.  I believe my stint in college is going to complement and enhance that which I have already learned, as well as shed light on some problem areas. 

     This semester, I am studying the evolution of film with my favorite professor.  This class is considerably different from the last one, and I believe it will be more challenging.  The movies are different than anything I would have watched without prodding, which will give me exposure to something new and different.  The same is true of my Fiction & Film class.  I am already expanding my horizons, as I am reading books that are politically oriented, as well as the NY Times, and Barron’s.  (Don’t fault me-I’ve been reading Good Housekeeping and Parents’ magazines all these years. It's not like I simply read the Enquirer...)

     One of my professors was relating to the class about one of his teachers, who is…allergic to chalk dust…Can you imagine?  Claritin, take me away…

Some things are worth repeating...

May the victims of 9/11 rest in peace...

"The Day America's Innocence Died"

 This is dedicated to the people who lost their lives
on the day America's innocence died.
To people in buildings, in planes, on the ground
in Washington, Pennsylvania, and New York town.
We honor your courage, defiance, and grace
while staring blatant evil and death in the face.
To the stewardess who had the presence of mind
to forward a perpetrator's seat number to the FBI.
To the people who crashed on Pennsylvania lands,
making sure no more would die at the terrorists' hands.
To those bound for New York who fought so hard for control
trying to deflect from the target's countless toll.
To the people in the towers, so brave and so true,
for helping peers and coworkers, carrying them through.
To the rescuers on the ground, for their tenacity and great courage
to sift through the ashes, the rubble, the carnage
to bring us back our loved ones, our friends, and fellow citizens.
We honor you, we salute you, both police and firemen.
To our brothers and sisters whose loved ones are missing or gone,
it's so important you know that you do not grieve alone.
There isn't one among us whose lives have gone untouched.
Now is the time to come together for the country we love so much.
God bless our great country, America, the red, the white, the blue.
We'll honor, we'll love and protect you.
To our homeland we'll always be true.

"In Sync"

     Class was a real hoot tonight! My new professor is approaching the momentous  Big 5-0. Like me,
he tries to have fun with it and poke a little fun at himself because of it.  He distributed index cards and asked us to provide some information about ourselves. He requested the basics: name, address, phone number. He also asked about hobbies and interests...and birthdays..."You don't want the year do you?" I spontaneously blurted out.  That elicited some chuckles from my fellow students. "No", he replied. "Good point".  He and I are definitely in sync.

"Despairing Eyes"

I wrote this for one of the loves of my life that passed too soon. Rest in peace G.B.

 

"Despairing Eyes"

So many years have passed since you met your untimely demise.

You will always be young and beautiful in my despairing eyes.

Time cannot diminish the love for you that I feel.

It’s palpable, it’s unwavering, it’s enduring, and it’s real.

While time has merely served to soften the excruciating pain

of losing you, it can’t lessen the hope

that one day I may see you again.

"The Good, the Bad, and the Clumsy"

     Today was my first day of the fall semester.  I am considerably more apprehensive about my classes this fall as compared to my summer courses.  For starters, yesterday the school posted pictures of various students on their home page, as a tribute to the first day of school. It goes without saying that none of the students are like me.  They have spiked hair, or hair in a variety of colors, some of which I never knew existed. The boys have drooping pants. The girls wear short shorts, and most of the students are now even younger than my youngest son. That’s the bad news.

     Do you recall my young classmate, “A”, the fellow who shocked me by snapping a picture of my essay with his cell phone? Well, the good news is that he is in my World Geography class!  Having “A” in my class nearly eliminated my exaggerated level of discomfort, as I now have someone I can relate to. That is, as much as a 50-Something can relate to a 20-Something. Those positive vibes were quickly dispelled, however, when, walking back to my car after class, I clumsily tripped in the parking lot. (It could only have been worse had I been walking with him).  No, it wasn’t a small, barely discernible misstep. It was a grotesque flub! I nearly fell flat on my face, but I dared not look around in the hopes that no one witnessed the calamity. I know some youngsters saw me, and I had no intention of humiliating myself further by subjecting myself to their raucous laughter. Blissfully, my next class will be after sunset.

"I.D. and Me"

     I am immersing myself into the world of Internet Dating the way a child inches her way into chilly ocean waters: very slowly. My initial visit to a dating site was like dipping my toes, by looking at about 8 photos of local eligibles.  I quickly exited the site, as the reality of my age slapped me in the face like a rogue wave.  The second time, I went the equivalent of about shin deep, and signed up. I didn’t divulge much about myself, and I did not download my picture.  On my third visit to the site, I made it to, comparatively speaking, about knee deep, perusing approximately forty pictures, and that was just the tip of the iceberg! There must be at least two hundred.  I updated very little information about myself, and find that I am filled with trepidation about the whole thing. Perhaps I simply don’t want to date.  I am beginning to think that I have been on my own for too long now. Between the ages of 15 and 53, I was never without a “man” in my life.  Since my divorce a number of years ago, I have become acquainted with (to name a few) solitude, independence, choice, serenity, and control of my own destiny.  I also have come to the realization that I do not possess the level of stamina that I had in my youth. I don’t know if I would have any energy left for a relationship given my level of immersion in my class work and writing.  Does it seem as if I’m attempting to talk myself out of this venture?  I don’t. What I would need to do is talk myself into it.  I guess I’m just not ready after all.

"Be Careful What You Wish For"

     My apartment is ground level, and has a large picture window facing a grassy courtyard. Nice, right? Absolutely, except when my neighbors decide to have a barbeque practically right in front of my window, resulting in a definite infringement on my privacy, a luxury that I have not always been fortunate enough to enjoy. Yesterday, I prayed for rain so that they would all go inside, and I could then open my windows and blinds. (Selfish of me, I know.)  Such was not to be, as the ever threatening rain held off.  This morning, however, was another story. The requested rainstorm materialized, when it was time for me to walk my freshly bathed dog. I actually intuited this exact scenario.  My intuition did not deter me from wishing for the bad weather, though.  I am now inside with my soaking wet dog, wishing for the humidity to dissipate so that he will dry out.  Of course, that will result in another barbeque…   (Be careful what you wish for…)