Resolutions vs. Goals

     I am no longer in the habit of making New Year's resolutions.  I did in my youth, a lifetime ago.  Some of my successful and not so successful resolutions included quitting smoking, drinking less, going to the gym regularly, walking away from a bad relationship.  I have been successful at three of the four, some more than once.  

     I stopped smoking on my oldest son's fifth birthday, nearly thirty years ago.  Of course, it took numerous attempts before I found success.  I also stopped drinking around the same time.  Not that I had a problem-I just went through the youthful phase that most of us experience.  Having children brought that to a screeching halt.  Now I wouldn't touch alcohol if I was paid to.  I am determined to have full control of my faculties at all times, as I remember all too well how drinking to excess hampers one's judgement.

     On relationships, I've walked away from more than I can remember, now living a life of solitude and unbridled independence that I savor, rather like a gourmet meal that I am experiencing for the first time.  I have grown accustomed to being alone, in more ways than one.  It is strange how life changes, and changes me as I grow older.  My priorities have shifted.

     Regarding going to the gym-that is one resolution I have never kept for any length of time, although I was quite disciplined about walking for many years.  Now, however...not so much. 

     What I have done differently for the past five years or so, is to set goals for myself.  Granted, setting goals is something I probably should have started a very long time ago, but then, I always was a late bloomer.  My recent goals have consisted of employment and financial goals, educational goals,  a focus on my writing, and more recently, retirement goals.  Some of my goals that I've set have already been realized, like landing a  job, paying off credit cards, and having gone back to college.  (While  I haven't earned my degree yet, I am well on my way).  My writing has suffered, however,  as juggling work, a commute, and studying, leaves me depleted, both mentally and physically.  That is why I have incorporated increased writing into this year's list.  In years past, I was writing three blog posts per week and poetry on a near daily basis, in addition to my papers for school.  Slowly but surely, that has fallen by the wayside, as I succumb to exhaustion in my free time, having become engaged in a very satisfying love affair with my sofa.  I hardly even write in my journal any more.  However, I mean to change that this year, and revert back to doing that which I love.  The joy of writing sustains me, in good times as well as bad.  Most likely, it will never be a career, but hey, you never know.  I recently read of an eighty six year old woman who was published for the first time, having taken five years to write a novel.  I guess there's hope for me yet!