Saturday, April 26, 2014

"A Waist of Time"

     My attempt at internet dating continues, and I have made zero progress in the last six months.  Today I scanned fifty pages at five guys per page, and it was an exercise in futility.   Two hundred and fifty guys, and not one appealed to me.
     In all seriousness, I don't think I will ever meet anyone this way.  I'm far too picky and anal.  One fellow indicated that if a woman doesn't display a picture, contacting him would be a waist of time. (Ugh!  I wanted to comment "waste, you fool").   Another fellow has a screen name of Public Enemy, reminding me of an old James Cagney movie.  Nix both of these guys off the list of possibilities.  Another one had in his list of criteria that recognizing certain movie quotes would score "the applicant" extra points.  Given my love for movies, he sounds like a possible match, right?  Except that the quotes were all from gangster movies!  A little too dark for me...I wouldn't trust him either.
     Am I reaching for the stars?  You be the judge. Here's my criteria: the fellow can't be tall, and he can't be  short.  He can't be skinny, and a beard and or mustache is out of the question.  If, in any of his pictures, he's got a beer bottle, a glass of wine, or a cigar in his hand, forget it.  If he's seeking a travel partner, well, that ain't gonna happen.  He can't be too young because I wouldn't trust him, and he can't be too old because I'm not into older men.  A small measure of hair is imperative, and I don't mean white (although mine probably is underneath the hundreds of coats of Miss Clairol slapped on it).  Additionally, he must have a good voice, young sounding and masculine, with no trace of hoarseness. Oh, and let's not forget, first and foremost, he must be able to spell and write in sentences, complete with correct context and punctuation.  However, if he's got a masters degree or a doctorate, I'm not in his league, and if he's got a high school diploma he's not in mine.  See what I mean?  Hopeless!  I feel I'm completely and utterly waisting my time! 

No comments: