"Younger by the Day"

       You know the phone obsession has gone too far when the meteorologist is posting comments on Twitter instead of providing the weather forecast...

      My sister theorizes that if one is heavier, he or she will tend to look younger.  The way I am gaining weight-I must be looking younger by the day.

     Why do I keep a travel size bottle of hairspray when I never travel?  More importantly, why do I store it beside my bottle of eyeglass cleaner?  You guessed it-I grabbed the wrong bottle when I decided to clean my glasses (I couldn't tell the difference because...I didn't have my glasses on!).  So now my $800.00 glasses have a new kind of scratch coat on them.  Too bad I can't see through it...     

      Have you noticed lately that the only "stars" on DWTS are the professional dancers?

     My friend and I were discussing the importance of the opening line in a book, story , or article.  She then cited Moby Dick, to which I replied "Call me Ishmael".  She was visibly impressed, until I explained that I merely knew the line from hearing it in the movie Matilda...

"Haircut Free"

     So why do I have my hairdresser's telephone number programmed in my phone when I cut my hair every eighteen months? 

      The following event was not my original intent, but a result of the past "haircut free" year and a half:

     I am suffering from a new kind of separation anxiety.  I am missing my long hair.  I recently had this brainstorm that compelled me to cut my nearly waist long hair and donate it.  I love(d) my long hair.  I have worn it long for the better part of the last twenty years. (I'm a bit backwards, folks.  I sported short hair in my youth and decided to grow it long when I was in my forties!) 

     Before leaving for my appointment, I held onto my long curly locks and bid them farewell.  Shortly thereafter, my hairdresser asked me, as she held my still attached ten inch braid in her hands, scissors perched, was I sure.  My hands were shaking, and my lips trembled.  Unable to speak, I solemnly shook my head yes. In one felt swoop, off it came.   My sorrow subsequently turned to joy, however, as I perused the Locks of Love website, knowing my sacrifice would help a child in need.  

     The next day, when I went to work, many people were shocked.  Some even did double takes when I walked in sporting  hair that barely covered my ears.  One friend indicated that cutting my hair "took ten years off".  "Wow", I replied, "now I look like I'm fifty!"  (I'm not sixty yet folks-just getting myself mentally prepared...)  And don't get me wrong.  I really did appreciate the compliment.

     In all seriousness, this is a great organization.  Please check it out:

http://www.locksoflove.org/

"Fall Semester 2014"

     I'm returning to school this week for the fall semester.  I suspect I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for taking longer than anyone else in history to attain my Associate's Degree.  In reality-I'm just trying to hold onto my student discount until my senior citizen discount kicks in.

     The course I'm taking is "American Government and Politics".    Now, anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely despise politics.  Obviously, I don't have a choice, or I never would have chosen this class.  A number of people have expressed what an interesting class it will be.  I asked all three of them to take the class for me, but I didn't have any takers.  So alas, I will go in with an open mind and try to absorb all I can.  Two years ago, when I took Fiction and Film Studies, the theme of the course was-you guessed it-politics.  I was dismayed upon hearing that, but ultimately, I was pleasantly surprised.  We read and watched All the President's Men, & Primary Colors, and I truly enjoyed both.  We also viewed a classic film-Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.  I am hopeful that this upcoming course will go so well.  I doubt it will include movies, however...

"Malamute"

     So I'm back on that damned internet dating site-again!   What's wrong with this picture?  Am I a glutton for punishment?  For one thing, I know they manipulate the system, and consequently, me.  And I fall for it every time!  It never fails-when my membership is about to expire, the messages and page views  all but stop.  However, the minute my membership does expire, voila!  Tons of messages magically appear in my in-box.  Of course, I can't read them or even see who they are from unless I pay up.  Needless to say, my curiosity gets the best of me, and I fork over the dough.  The messages are always disappointing.  Almost exclusively, they are from people who do not have a photo displayed.  I suspect they are phantom members put in place by the site to entice fools like me.  Every time my membership is about to expire, I swear that I am going to call it quits.  I am lacking resolve on this issue, however.

     Quite frankly, in the last two years I've done very little dating and have spent an awful lot of money.  That is mainly because I am so fussy.  I am easily turned off by age (too young/too old), a look, a picture in a distasteful location (bar), or an offensive screen name.  Most of these guys do have screen names, some of which are downright revolting.  Others are original, some clever, or conversely, dumb, and some, shall we say-intriguing?  One fellow calls himself "malemute".  Now, I don't know if he is trying to say "Malamute" but doesn't know how to spell it (an automatic turnoff for me), or if he is a male who is "mute", which, as far as I am concerned, is the best kind.  I am attempting to come up with a discreet way of making that determination, as I spend another evening with the main man in my life-Buddy!

"Designer Dog"

      My neighbor recently purchased a gorgeous puppy, and I do mean gorgeous-with a capital G.  And yes, I do have puppy fever!

     The dog, however beautiful, is rather unusual looking.  He is on the small side, weighing in at no more than ten pounds.  He has long shaggy hair that is variegated shades of brown, and a rather long body.  I inquired about the breed, because, for one thing, I've never seen anything quite like him, and also, I've seen the dog's brother, and they look nothing alike.  In fact, the other dog has very short, dark brown hair, nearly black.  The only commonality is the somewhat extended torso.  Well, the exquisitely beautiful puppy is a Dorkie.  That is-a cross between a Dachshund and a Yorkie.  ( I find this kind scenario somewhat like mixing chocolate and cayenne pepper.  They too, mix unexpectedly well.  I don't know who thought either one up, but kudos to him or her anyway...)  Personally, I'm not crazy about either breed of dog, but the unusual mix  produces adorable pups, quite appealing, and with great potential of becoming  a second pet for me and Buddy.  I was discussing the puppy with my BFF, who is familiar with the breed.  She indicated to me that it is a "Designer Dog".  I had never heard the term, so I googled it.  A "Designer Dog" is a cross between two purebred dogs, and is distinctly, not a mutt.  A mutt is of uncertain ancestry, whereas a "Designer Dog" has documented purebred ancestry.  Curious as to where I could buy one, I googled that too.  One site I found indicated the following: "Designer Dogs Shipped Worldwide".  So, in this day and age, dogs are bred by design (and imagination) and shipped anywhere, rather like a mechanical toy dog that is built, stuffed in a box, and shipped to a toy store. What the fudge!?!?!?!  Gone are the days when your neighbor's mutt had an unplanned litter of puppies and they were farmed out to whomever wanted one.   That's how we always obtained our pups when I was growing up.  At that time, dogs were rarely "fixed", and were kept in the yard most of the time (hence the numerous unplanned pregnancies).  They ate one can of Alpo dog food per day, had annual rabies shots ministered by the city for free, and went to the Vet once or twice in their lifetime, most often when they were quite old...(I don't necessarily agree with all of that.  It's just how it was...)  I imagine I have really dated myself now, but I do long for the good old days, when life was so much simpler.  I think that, after I order  my  "Dorkie" online and receive him in the mail, I will pull down the shades, disconnect my Internet, and curl up on the couch with an old fashioned paperback book, my "Designer Dog" on my lap.

"No Mood to Write"

     I guess it's been at least a month since I've written a blog post.  The reason is twofold.  First and foremost, I am in no mood to write.  Perhaps if I didn't have to log on to a computer and deal with technology, I would feel differently.  But alas, that is not the case.  After long days in the office being technologically challenged until my head spins, I simply cannot bear the thought of turning on my computer when I am home.  Even on weekends, my time spent on the computer is minimal.  My contempt for technology increases by the day.  However, technology, for me, does have a scant few perks.  For example,  how would I manage without texting (on my antique, obsolete phone), my Blue Ray player, or Netflix streaming?  And my combination scanner/printer and digital camera-I couldn't live without those either.  I am really enjoying being able to scan and print my own photos!  Speaking of which, brings me to my other reason for not writing.  I have been on a mission in recent weeks to identify folks in over fifty years worth of photos.  Additionally, I am organizing them into new photo albums,  pasted onto pastel colored paper and kept in plastic report covers for protection.  In some, I have even added captions.  I was motivated to complete this project because my mother failed to identify the bulk of her assorted pictures.  My sister, cousins, and I have been busy enlarging photos, studying photos with magnifying glasses, and debating over whose mother is in a particular photo.  My mom and two of her sisters (not triplets) looked exactly alike, and we are using a look, a smile, or an article of clothing remembered to determine the identity of the mystery woman in a given photo.  We have managed to identify a good number of photos, though it hasn't been easy.  Additionally, it can be painful not being 100 percent sure of our consensus.  I am determined that this challenge will not be passed on to my own children.  While they will have thousands of photos to sort through, the pictures are in order by year, the people are identified, and the events noted.  I have tons of baby pictures, including my own, baptisms, graduations, weddings, vacations.  Because of my diligence, there will be no guesswork involved, even with the babies!  I have spent countless hours on this project.  One day alone, I started at 6:30 A.M., and didn't stop until 8:30 P.M., except to eat and walk the dog.  Most of my photos were totally disorganized, with pictures of my grandparents mixed in with pictures of my children.  For a long time I couldn't look at the photos, as the memories were more than I could face.  I have had a difficult time coming to terms with my empty nest and the fact that I will never again hold my babies in my arms or cuddle up with my little boys.  Tears well up in my eyes even now as I write this.  It has taken nearly six long years for me to be able to revisit the past.  One day, paging through the numerous albums filled with our lives, my sons will be glad I did.

               "My Mom"    I picked up on the sad smile, my sister recognized the shoes.                                   

"Boomer Blogger"

     Not only can many people not spell correctly, write in sentences, or even use proper punctuation, but add to the list folks using words completely out of context.  I'm not talking bare vs. bear, or there vs. their, or even quash vs. squash (a rumor is something you quash, whereas a bug is something you squash...)  I recently read a movie review where the critic indicated that the movie he saw was define.  I'm certain he meant divine!  Duh!

     A friend of mine has been urging me to seek acupuncture treatments to try and alleviate the discomfort caused by my hot flashes.  Believing it is worth trying, I gave it a shot, utilizing the procedure to treat some of my aches and pains simultaneously.  It worked like a charm, except that, by the time they were through pricking me, I looked like pinhead!

     Buddy, my crazy chocolate lab, can always tell when I'm getting ready to go out.  Recently, I was preparing to head out to a movie and wanted to walk him first.  I tried to coax King Buddy off of his love seat throne, but, viewing me dejectedly,  he merely let out the greatest impersonation of a Marlon Brando sigh that I have ever seen, his body language  screaming "she's going out...again..."  He dejectedly lumbered off the couch, and proceeded outside to do his business.  If they gave out doggie Oscars, Buddy would win-paws down! 

     I signed up for a Communications course this coming fall, first checking "Rate My Professor" (as previously instructed by some of my young classmates) so I have an idea of what to expect.  The consensus is that  this particular professor is young and modern, and that it is not necessary to purchase a book for the course.  The professor writes a blog for his students.  They felt compelled to add that the "ancient" professors would never write a blog...I'm guessing that the notion of a "Boomer Blogger" is inconceivable to the naive little tykes...